1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 Droogie to Queen’s English-Queen’s English to Droogie pocket dictionary.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 High-tech surveillance and theft deterrent system.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 One muscle-bound vaguely homosexual bodyguard to answer your door and carry you around the house in your wheelchair.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Our ‘Common Sense’ guide to opening the door to strangers after dark.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Self/home-defense training.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 “Codpieces or Clown’s Wigs?” guide to coordinating gang fashions.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 bottle of lactaid for lactose intolerance.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 disfigured face mask.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 1 year supply of fake eyelashes.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Effective bludgeoning technique training.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Your choice of our wide variety of concealed, lethal (non-projectile based), weapons and blunt instruments for bludgeoning victims and rival gang members.